I hate that message, don’t you? Working away on the computer, which is thankfully capable of automatic updates that don’t take any extra effort from me, when the popup tells me that I must reboot the computer to continue… Of course, I click remind me later…
Sometimes I’m running along fine, pounding away at facebook, email, and my googlecalendar all in unison. Suddenly error messages are taking over, and my computer is so bogged down and slow that I could knit a scarf sooner than access Gmail. I run the anti-virus and go through deleting little useless programs that have somehow attached themselves without my knowing… just to get back to the basics of simple productivity and running easily.
This is my life the last year. Sluggish and over run with peripherals. All good things for sure, but just too, too much of everything.
I came to a realization a few months ago that I just need to REBOOT. Sift through and redefine what I am and where I’m going with this life, especially since I’ dragging these children along with me. I got to a point in July that I had to just take a time out for a few days. Recommit to being a purposeful parent. Choose how I’m spending my time, so that my time isn’t gone with ME being spent.
Since July I’ve been routinely put in positions that I have to reevaluate what I’m doing. With the house, parenting, school, doula work, everything down to what I wear. I just feel a need to be purposeful. Intentional. To consider what my children will remember in 20 years. I’ve often heard said “It’s better for children to remember quality time, playing and life with mom and dad: than to remember a clean house and dinner every night.” Or, in my case, mom running around always busy even if that busy-ness involves them and is ABOUT them. I need to help them experience every day, before that day is gone.
Socks or no socks, getting shoes on isn’t worth a battle that causes everyone in the house to start out their day feeling stressed and off. Or worse, happy to be out of the house and at school or work… (let me tell ya, shoes and socks are a BIG deal around here..sigh…)
In the last few weeks, I’ve finally begun to take this to heart. And what I mean by that is that I know this all in my head. It’s walking it out and making it real that is hard because it requires change. And change is work. And work isn’t always fun.
Because these 4 little people are waiting on us to build them a home, not just the house we live in. As we work on this house they are giddy with every change and every step toward the house of their dreams… mostly waiting for the novelty of STAIRS!! But we are responsible for more than the walls, but the spirit of the home and the value of that we are living before these children in it, every day.
Other than prayer, deep discussion with my amazing husband and just general purging of life, I’ve done something that is a little unexpected for me. Last week I met with a Life Coach…gasp… I know, that sounds so strange. But really, it makes so much sense. Having someone to be accountable to on the outside, to give a different perspective and challenge what I’m doing. It’s going to be amazing!! And one of her first charges to me was to re-discover something that used to keep me grounded. Thus, blogging again. It’s my homework. 😉
I can’t promise that my blog will be witty or fancy, or even interesting. I certainly don’t have it life together and if I do find time to write it may not be as entertaining as some. But, you’re welcome to walk through this journey with me and see how I’m doing. We all come to a time where we have to decide. Those moments of truth where you either trudge forward dragging all of the random uploads with us, or take a night off and reboot our system. Come reboot with me!