It’s seven o’clock. I’ve got a raging headache and an hour until bedtime. The kids are on the floor in front of me playing with a mound of jumbo sized LEGOs that their Popi had as a child. If only Selah would stop slowly scraping the aircraft carrier she has constructed across the ocean of my hardwood floors…
The LEGOs were an unexpected gift. They came in a beaten-up pathetic box, wrapped in cute paper with a bow. My mother-in-law gave them to us, or back to Travis I suppose, at our baby shower when we were expecting Selah. I remember wondering why she didn’t save them for a first birthday or something. Why give them when they can’t be used for so long? At times the LEGOS are the bane of my existence. They liter my floors and get stuck under my couch constantly putting me on the defense for my perpetually bare feet. All worth it for the joy they bring. I wouldn’t give up that treasure for anything. Although, I’m quite relieved to say the aircraft carrier has been reconstructed into a skyscraper. Luckily, an immobile project.
It’s crazy how sometimes the things that bless us are the things we didn’t ever want in the first place. I was not the happiest woman when I found out I was pregnant with Lucas. I mean, there was no doubt that we wanted more children, but that soon? I was actually too embarrassed to tell people for a few weeks. I couldn’t do it and look happy about it. I’m an open book and everyone would know. After those first few weeks I was fine and looked forward to the sweet little one. But I was saddened all over again when I found out that my dream of having a little ‘Lucienne Gaylene’ would not be coming true. The sonogram very clearly showed it.
So when Selah was 3 1/2 and Jacob was 18 months, little Lucas Gaelen was born. Even the plan of a homebirth was a failure. C-section again. But that’s where the disappointment ended. He’s amazing. He’s the most joyful little man ever. Our family needed him, and we needed him when he came. It’s hard to even remember why I ever felt the way I did. I prefer to say he was ‘unscheduled’. I never ever would call him unplanned.
Blessings come whether we expect them or not and I’m so glad the planning wasn’t up to me! It’s so easy for us to get frustrated when things don’t go the way we planned, but the circumstances of our lives make us who we are. I wouldn’t change any of mine.
Ok, said little man is now terrorizing the LEGO village. Off to save the natives.
